Local Guide

Most Occurred Problems When Dating An Indonesian

Hello FlokqJuly 13, 2020

You’re probably an expat that’s dating an Indonesian for the first time. Maybe for the first few weeks of dating, both of you have been getting along great. But just like any other relationship, problems are bound to happen. You may upset them but you’re not sure about what you did exactly. You’d probably did a small mistake but they act like its a very big deal. As a foreigner, you’re probably a bit confused by Indonesian culture in general. Sometimes the things you deem normal in your country might be considered unusual in Indonesia. This is mostly to the fact that Indonesia may have a different culture from your country as it’s stricter here. A lot of expats share the same problems as Indonesians can be unpredictable at times. But don’t worry, we have made a list of the most occurred problems you might encounter when dating an Indonesian.

1. Too overprotective

Some Indonesians tend to be protective of the people they love as they want their loved ones to be safe. This may seem like a great thing but a lot of Indonesians actually can be a little overprotective. They may be annoying you by asking you every 10 minutes about where you are or who you’re with. They can even call your phone a bunch of times until you pick up just to ask how you’re doing.  You’ll probably feel that they can be clingy at times and it’s perfectly normal. You should have a talk with them about this if it affects your daily life drastically. Some of them might think that you’re overreacting and that they’re doing this because they care about you. But if you talk to them and tell them how you feel, they’ll understand. 

2. Easily jealous

This one of the biggest problems about dating an Indonesian, no matter if you’re a local or an expat. Indonesians can be very easily jealous, even by the little things. It’s not a big deal if they’re jealousy can be easily eliminated, but sometimes it can take a long time. Unlike in most countries, some Indonesian are conservative about relationships. They might be mad at you just because you’re chatting with someone or calling your friends. They think that these kinds of things are cheating as you don’t give them your full attention. This has made a lot of fights that have broken up relationships. You need to address this problem and make sure they know that the only one you love is them. If you’re having this problem, make sure to talk to them so you can solve the problem right away. 

3. Communication problems

vIn the first few weeks of dating, your communication with your significant other might be fine. But along the way, communication problems might bound to happen. Maybe both of you might be overwhelmed by work and are to busy to meet or even call each other. Don’t let this problem end your relationship. A lot of relationships end due to lack of communication and a lot of people have regretted not trying harder. You should pay both attention to your job and significant other rather juggling to which you think is more important. Start with the little things such as asking them how their day went or call them when they’re not working. Try anything that can keep both of you talking so that both of you won’t feel lonely or strained. If you’re having problems, don’t be afraid to confront them about it and talk it through.

4. Boredom

A lot of relationships start great but day by day it might seem that the love is fading away. Indonesians tend to have this type of problem when their dating. They may seem happy and comfortable with their significant other for a while, but sometimes they may think they’re bored. A lot of long relationships end because both of them may feel like they’re at the end of the road. This is a big problem as sometimes when you feel bored, you may feel like you need something new. This is why when you’re dating someone, make sure to always bring something new to the table. Don’t ever let your relationship be stale and monotone because it may lead you or them to feel bored. Do something once in a while that can lift both of your moods like a surprise dinner or gifts.

Read also : The Perfect Guide to Flirt with Indonesians!

5. Less appreciated

You’d probably appreciate your partner in the first few moments of your relationship. But maybe you can unintentionally be taking them for granted these past few weeks. This is a problem as a relationship cannot grow if it is being taken for granted. Make sure to compliment them every day, give them the appreciation they deserve. Make sure they know they appreciate and love you. Don’t ever neglect them but be sure to always be there for them. Help yourselves feel appreciated by noticing and telling each other what you love of each other every day.

6. Interference of a third party

This may be one of the common reasons a lot of relationships end in Indonesia. There are a lot of people who like to sabotage someone’s relationship with their gain. A lot of people when they’re bored like to find new things to cheer them up. This is no different in the dating game. You or your partner might find a new person that’s “better” than your current partner. But don’t fall for it. These people will only try to disrupt your relationship so they can have you for yourselves. This is why you need to keep a strong relationship with your significant other so that this will not happen. Make sure that you show your partner that you are the one for them and they’re the one for you. Trust each other throughout the relationship so you can create a strong bond. 

So these are 6 most occurred problems that you might experience when dating an Indonesian. We hope this can help you maintain a good relationship with your partner.